What a spectacle today with three separate groups of Goldman Sachs goats paraded in front of the trolls of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. The day started with 4 tiny Goldman Sachs goats.
"Who's that trotting over my bridge?" Growled the one of the trolls (Carl Levin) from under the bridge."I'm going to eat you for breakfast!" "Oh no, please Mr. Troll," pleaded the 4 goats. "We're the smallest Goldman Sachs Gruff. We're much too tiny for you to eat, and we wouldn't taste very good especially since we can't remember much. Why don't you wait for one of my other brothers, the second Goldman Sachs Gruff? Those two are much bigger than us and would be much more tasty."
"All right, you can cross my bridge," Levin grunted. "Go and get fatter on the mountain and I'll eat you on your way back!" So the smallest 4 Goldman Sachs Goats Gruff skipped across to the other side.
Five hours later, two more slightly larger Goldman Sachs goats were preparing to cross the bridge. "Who's that clattering across my bridge?" screamed two more trolls (Susan Collins and Clair McCaskill), suddenly appearing from under the planks.
"Goldman Sachs Gruff," said the second two goats in their middle-sized voice. "We're going up to the Hamptons to eat the lovely sushi wrapped in lemon grass." "Oh no you're not!" said Susan and Clair."We're going to eat you for breakfast." "Oh, no, please, "said the two goats. " We may be bigger than the prior four Goldman Sachs Gruff, but we're much smaller than our one remaining brother, the "doing God's work" third Goldman Sachs Gruff. Why don't you wait for him? He would be much more of a meal than me."
The trolls were getting very hungry, but neither Susan nor Clair wanted to waste their appetite nor their final questions on middle-sized goats if there was an even bigger one to come. "All right, you can cross my bridge,"they rumbled." Go and get fatter on the mountain and I'll eat you on your way back! "So the 2 middle-sized Goldman Sachs Gruff scampered across to the other side and were off to the Hamptons.
The trolls did not have to wait long (only a couple CNBC commercials) for the third Goldman Sachs Gruff. Tromp-tramp, tromp-tramp went his hooves as he stomped across the wooden planks. Bong-bang, bong-bang went the big bell round his neck. "Who's that stomping over my bridge?" roared the trolls (Ted Kaufman and John Ensign), resting their chins on their hands." Lloyd Blankfein Gruff, "said the third goat in a deep, God-like voice. "I'm going up to the Hamptons to prepare for my SEC suit and enjoy a clam bake with Hank Paulson and Tim Geithner". "Oh no you're not," said Ted and John as they clambered up on to the bridge.
"We're going to eat you for breakfast!" "That's what you think," said the Biggest Goldman Sachs Gruff. Then he lowered his horns, galloped along the bridge and butted the ugly trolls. Up, up, up went the trolls into the air... then down, down, down into the rushing river below. They disappeared below the swirling waters, and were gone. So much for their breakfast, thought the biggest Goldman Sachs Gruff.
"Now what about mine!" And he walked in triumph over the bridge to join his Goldman Sachs brothers in the Hamptons. From then on every Wall Street Gruff could cross the bridge whenever they liked.